You Win Some, You Lose Some: Nobody's Perfect

Today I lost a game of Freecell. 

I have never lost (on this computer) before because there's always the opportunity to undo every move made throughout the game, to go back to the beginning and start over. That was fully my intention in the game I lost except there was a power surge that restarted my computer. The possibility of undoing my moves to more perfectly play the game and WIN was lost. There was nothing I could do. I could not undo the power surge. Now I can't change my statistics. I am up to over 400 games and have not lost anymore, but no matter what my stats say I have only won 99 percent of my games (on this computer).  I will never be at 100 percent. I did not lose a game - in my mind I just didn't get the chance to get a do-over.  I did not forfeit my opportunity to go back and replay the game. A power not in my hands, not in my control, skewed my score. Every time I play, every game I win I am going to see the results at the end of it that say I have only won 99 percent of my games. Even when I get another computer or if I reset the results of the game, I know I lost a game. Even more when I look back to the very first games I played on a dinosaur computer from long ago.

That's life. 

You do not get to undo your actions, take back your words, and sometimes it is not the result of your actions that cause you to be rated less than you think you deserve but only what can be seen after the result of another action: that power out of your control that sum up the judgments people make about you. You know the truth - you know there are usually as many truths as parties involved plus the real truth. In the truth of this matter and IN REALITY THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUTH. No matter how you look at things there is only one. I can look at it as "it is not my fault there was a power surge that kept me from going back and playing a better game," but THAT IS LIFE. We are not in control of nature nor in control of the nature of anyone or anything that might interfere with the results that we are trying to achieve. We are not in control of the hand or the people we are dealt, we just have to play along knowing a wrong move can mess those results and there is nothing that we can do to change it - we can only keep playing. The only truth is that I did not and often do not play a perfect game - I usually just have the opportunity to erase my bad moves and in the end no one other than me and Jehovah God are any the wiser. We can pretend that the bad moves we make in life that are not seen by others or not mentioned by us don't exist, but they do. Even if we deny them it doesn't make them go away. We can be better because of them if we only admit them to ourselves and become wiser from them. When we hide those moves or do not face them we are doomed to repeat them and eventually our imperfections are exposed. There is always that power that is greater that knows. Even if you don't believe in THAT POWER it exists in you because we all were created from that power. It may be dormant  or dead in us but it is there. 

The good thing is we have choices and on what we focus is what expands. We can focus on the mistake or we can focus on our wins and future moves. We can expect that sometimes things happen out of our control and be better prepared to deal with them because we know they happen. It doesn't make you negative to expect the possibility of the unexpected and to be prepared for it. It makes you wise. It only makes you negative if you lie or never try. It makes you negative if you approach the game waiting for the unexpected or thinking you are going to be defeated. 

We are all winners! ...and sometimes we are losers. Nobody is perfect, just play the game to win and don't dwell on when you lose. Play as if you know you will win. Love like you have never been hurt.  Dance like no one is watching. 

Never give up! Celebrate your wins! Learn from from your losses. THAT POWER is always working in your favor for good.

Fairy Tales

Most women are turned on by a man's appearance, the poetry of his words, or perceived personality, but half of them can't match a real man's mind with their own thinking...they wouldn't look beneath the surface of words & know how to stimulate the mind of a man who thinks. They wouldn't be patient enough to even dig in their own minds & know what they really like about the man or how to hold a real man's attention without their looks.
They want to be a part of a cheap, cheesy romance novel instead of the leading lady in a never-ending story: ...til death do we part.
Women forget what the "Princesses" with happy endings go through before they meet their sweet Prince. They rush to a hotel with a "suite prince" & end up in a dungeon of disgust because of lust. Fairy tales often include drama & conflict before you get to "and they lived happily ever after."
We ask the men what turns them on or what makes a woman appealing to them. They give us their answers & then the female turns around & says "well the man for me will accept me as I am!" THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T HAVE A MAN, NOW!
My heart really breaks for my sisters who think they have it so together, & who blame extrinsic circumstances when what they suffer from is internal conflict. 

Angel 7/25/12

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH

There's something terribly wrong when you have a large group of attractive, employed, single adults and no one can make a love connection. Of course, it's none of the singles fault they're single. Men only want sex & don't know how to treat women anymore. Women want to much, complain too much, and don't know how to take care of home & her man. Both sides sling poo & everyone is left stinking.
You attract what you are or what you think. Your mate is your mirror. Something about you is reflected in the type of people you attract, or the ones you're not attracting. 

I hate that most of my brothers & sisters don't want to hear what could help them. It's like they like being single. I don't know why we can't come together, listen to & accommodate the needs of our lovers, because we really do love each other. In spite of being scarred, underneath being scared, all we have to do is communicate & cooperate. We've gotten spoiled in this instant, do-it-if-it-feels-good, anything goes & it's-all-about-me society. We've gone through another sexual revolution yet many are still sexually frustrated because they're oversexed & have cum for brain fluid, or they are sexed less than they desire due to being single.
There's something wrong and no one wants to listen because YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
People just don't know anymore how to build & be in a relationship, and the benefits of it.

May Day, May Day...but not the usual kind

May I have your attention, please? Ahem, thank you. I would just like to first thank you for taking time out to read what I have to say. Your time is valuable and I appreciate you using a moment of it to see what I have to say.
Hear ye, hear ye...I'm ready for love. I'm open and secure enough to consider allowing someone into my life. This has been a yo-yo of a decision as I'm happy single and choose not to pursue anyone, but I'm ready to trust myself with exchanging interest with someone. That means I allow myself to be vulnerable. That takes a lot of trust. I know people have to earn trust, but we first have to trust ourselves and I trust me. I recently explored having an involvement with someone who I found out wasn't worthy. I saw signs but because I'm emotional and have been prone to jump to conclusions, I had to dig deeper into my soul. I sought the counsel of the Holy Spirit that lives within me and I know I can trust my gut. When I got the confirmation that I needed that it wasn't worthy, I walked away from it just like that. I felt sadness. I cried for a minute; really, about sixty seconds I sobbed, and then it was all over. I felt nothing but strength after that. I love the person but I can't be in love with someone who doesn't love himself enough to give himself the best. I can't do a pessimist or anyone with hate in their heart. I even still think about him. All I can think is I hope he gets it together for himself because anyone I know, I want the to do and have the best they can. That's the true meaning of love - being completely unselfish. I loved this person enough to let him go. More than anything I let go of the need to control a situation over which I have none. I only have control over me, my thoughts, my feelings, and my behavior. I choose to behave in a way that will ensure that I, too, have what I want others to have: happiness.
I will dwell in happiness so that I attract happiness. I will look for the best in others but I won't overlook warning signs. I will not settle for less than respect, devotion, and adoration...and I'll be receptive when it shows up.

Love me,
Angel