What defines you?

Since I'm asking you it's only fair that I answer, also. If someone asked me that question, I'd have to say what defines me is my loving & joyful nature...and hope that you haven't seen me when I was having, uh, you know... "one of those days". I'm having one today. While I can attribute the feelings to any one of my life's issues, I know I can still have joy "in spite of" my issues... except for one issue so gripping only drugs can bring a euphoric joy until the hormones decide to level themselves back out. "I'm starting to feel like a dungeon dragon! Rrrrah, rrrah!" If you remember or have seen "I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka" you already have a visual for how I feel right now.
My car needs work I can't afford to get because I haven't worked since February. I'm saving for the repairs & then June 16 came & I thought, "My boo-boo's 10th birthday! What a milestone...&I can't take him anywhere or do anything really fun w/him." I couldn't even get him a decent cake because I can't walk or ride my bike w/a 1/4 sheet cake & ice cream, but Super T & Pepperidge Farm came to the rescue. He seemed happy & told me the only thing that would have made it better was if I'd played Wii with him. HOW CAN YOU DENY A KID like that??? So, today I awoke deeper in my PMDD, feeling all those feelings about all my issues that I can so easily just leave with the Lord 2-3 weeks out of the month, & it hit me: forgot a car, forget my temporary feelings about temporary issues. If I or my son died today, I'd want him to have at least one toy - and not a toy that I can afford but A TOY THAT HE WANTS for his 10th birthday...and since I don't have work outside of the home, for now, we could play Wii all day if he wanted.
Having spent two-car-parts-worth on one of only three toys he asked for, while I sit here in my rocking chair & cry until my 'regular guest' comes, I can smile at the sounds of my second only-child playing by himself with his new toy, and look forward to riding my bike & walking for the next month or so. Hey I live in So Cal! Seriously, I'm happy to walk!
So, yes, loving & bringing people joy is what living this life is all about for me. I just gotta keep learning along the way, & never forget to give thanks & praise to the giver of the gifts of love & joy!
I'm Jess...an Angel

I know my ABD's

It's definitely an Attention Deficit, Bi-Polar-on-the-high-end, dyslexic kind of day. I'm glad I'm not in school right now. I've tried to blog all day and never finished more than two sentences. Everytime I began again, I changed subjects...decided to shoot out a lot of random posts on fb. THANK GOD He's all the medicine I'm on. I go to the Dr. almost daily...at 5 o'clock PDT: Dr. Oz. Once he gave the visual of what happens on the inside when we're becoming addicted, I vowed even stronger to stay away from prescribed meds. I realized after taking three acting classes simultaneously - classical theater, film/TV acting, & auditioning techniques where we covered the gamut - I can use these erratic emotions for performing & writing. With that said, I'm working on WAAAAY too many projects at once. but since can't be all completed at the same time, I'll always have something to work on.
...the wind blew...
By now, EVERYONE knows the blessing social networking can be...I make it known how much it's done for me...living happily 2166 miles from home (just wanted to be random again) I need facebook. Having connected w/so many old friends replenished the social butterfly in me. Reconnecting w/my Central State University family has unleashed the complete nut that I am. (There's a hint to a couple chapters in my autobiography.) Man, have I had my struggles...it's not easy to make new friends after 35 yrs of age. Having been sheltered most of my young life, mixing in being slow/naive...we could call my first few years out here "Clueless: The Adult Years." I was always told I could do anything I want, but I shouldn't want to do what I wanted to do..."Ruh?" Even the Mystery Gang gave up on trying to solve that one, but I'm a child of God and He who began a good work in me always assured me that He'd see me through to it. I would ask how, and He'd tell me throught the Holy Spirit to just trust Him...and while I didn't always, I was a child who was brought up in the way that I should go (by my Godparents,) so now I'm getting old I know not to depart from it. I've grown up, grown closer to God, and thus, closer to my goals. Look at me now! I'm going to have a Mary Tyler Moore moment on Hollywood Blvd. ...and hope my hat doesn't get stuck in a palm tree...or taken by a transient & used to collect change.
AND THE OSCAR FOR BEST ACTRESS GOES TO...(anxiety build, hyperventilation, heart palpations) JESSICA "ANGEL" CROLEY (SCREAMS, TEARS, THANK YOU, JESUS'S)...
Time to work on my speech & stuff.