It's On & Poppin

It's on and poppin' - wheeeeee! Ain't no stoppin' me!
Do you know how God has blessed & got me through waaay harder tests?
I'm joy-full; no room for distress...am only concerned with real progress.
I don't cry over spilled milk. It's not from my breasts.
The bosom of Abraham is where I rest.
MY SOUL IS ANCHORED!
1:50pm

Be who you are, but always challenge yourself to be better!

We all are who we are, where we are, WHY we are because of something or someone that already was...and it's not always our choice; BUT it is our choice to stay that way, to get worse, or to do better...and what WE choose to do today, with WHO choose to associate, and HOW we choose to react to that which we don't choose is all up to us.
Be blessed, be loved, and definitely give love.
I'm Jess an Angel

The Promises Continues

Philippians 1:5-6 For your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now; Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

I don't remember at exactly what age I was first led to these scripture verses, but I never forgot them. It has been the substance of my faith. Promises I received in my Spirit at a very young age, and throughout life, that have ceased to die...I know these verses are the reason they stayed alive. There is something greater than me in me.
I now surrender to that something greater. It has led to connections and reconnections that I could not have made on my own, and to living the life that many told me I could and would never live.
I'm thankful that I know my life is not my own, and that I've been spared to the time, and given the grace and mercy to still be connecting the dots.

Love & blessings,
I'm Jess, an Angel

Promise Keeper continued...

This represents my personal promise to me!

Promise Keeper

I love jewelry & I've lost rings that I cherish, but they were just facades behind which I hid because I don't have the ring I really want: improper replacements for the engagement or wedding ring I really desire to wear. One of them was the most beautiful pear-shaped CZ I'd ever had. Looking way more expensive than the $5 that Sterling Silver beauty cost, I wore it on my left ring finger vowing to devote myself to getting a real one on there one day. MANY mistakes in one: For one I was giving off the impression that I was already taken, and I was...taken by my own demons & being too involved with them. Also, I was trying to do something that only our Creator & Most High could do which is bring that man to me & vice versa. Well, last year I sadly & happily, I lost that ring. Sadly just because it was so pretty, but happily so that I could leave the only finger it fit bare so that I wasn't giving off the wrong message. Earlier this year I found a bigger, marquis-shaped CZ set in SS, and it fit the ring finger on my right hand, which is slightly bigger than the left. It cost a little more (darned inflation) but I bought myself my own promise ring. I promise to continue to yield to the Holy Spirit and allow it to continue to shape me & guide me on the right path until I & my future mate meet. As I lose weight I can move it to my middle finger: a nice forget you to any who aren't supportive of my promise to myself. BUT GUESS WHAT...about a month after I bought that ring, I lost it, too...or so I thought. I remembered taking it off in acting class to put lotion on my hands & never put it back on. I've lost so many rings by leaving them in my lap then having them drop into the unknown when I stood up. I didn't fret, as the old me would have. I did beat myself up lightly saying, "I can't believe I lost that ring, too" & for not checking a lost & found to see if anyone had found it & honestly turned it in as I've seen so much in my new environment. For some reason the ring never left my mind for another month, but no matter how much I thought about checking on it, a higher power never led me in that direction.

My son set to be on vacation from Monday to Monday I did laundry & found my ring in the pocket of the jacket I was wearing that day in acting class...just in time to be childless for a week I found my own personal promise reminder to be chaste until I'm with the right one for me.

Godspeed.

I'm Jess...an Angel

What defines you?

Since I'm asking you it's only fair that I answer, also. If someone asked me that question, I'd have to say what defines me is my loving & joyful nature...and hope that you haven't seen me when I was having, uh, you know... "one of those days". I'm having one today. While I can attribute the feelings to any one of my life's issues, I know I can still have joy "in spite of" my issues... except for one issue so gripping only drugs can bring a euphoric joy until the hormones decide to level themselves back out. "I'm starting to feel like a dungeon dragon! Rrrrah, rrrah!" If you remember or have seen "I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka" you already have a visual for how I feel right now.
My car needs work I can't afford to get because I haven't worked since February. I'm saving for the repairs & then June 16 came & I thought, "My boo-boo's 10th birthday! What a milestone...&I can't take him anywhere or do anything really fun w/him." I couldn't even get him a decent cake because I can't walk or ride my bike w/a 1/4 sheet cake & ice cream, but Super T & Pepperidge Farm came to the rescue. He seemed happy & told me the only thing that would have made it better was if I'd played Wii with him. HOW CAN YOU DENY A KID like that??? So, today I awoke deeper in my PMDD, feeling all those feelings about all my issues that I can so easily just leave with the Lord 2-3 weeks out of the month, & it hit me: forgot a car, forget my temporary feelings about temporary issues. If I or my son died today, I'd want him to have at least one toy - and not a toy that I can afford but A TOY THAT HE WANTS for his 10th birthday...and since I don't have work outside of the home, for now, we could play Wii all day if he wanted.
Having spent two-car-parts-worth on one of only three toys he asked for, while I sit here in my rocking chair & cry until my 'regular guest' comes, I can smile at the sounds of my second only-child playing by himself with his new toy, and look forward to riding my bike & walking for the next month or so. Hey I live in So Cal! Seriously, I'm happy to walk!
So, yes, loving & bringing people joy is what living this life is all about for me. I just gotta keep learning along the way, & never forget to give thanks & praise to the giver of the gifts of love & joy!
I'm Jess...an Angel

I know my ABD's

It's definitely an Attention Deficit, Bi-Polar-on-the-high-end, dyslexic kind of day. I'm glad I'm not in school right now. I've tried to blog all day and never finished more than two sentences. Everytime I began again, I changed subjects...decided to shoot out a lot of random posts on fb. THANK GOD He's all the medicine I'm on. I go to the Dr. almost daily...at 5 o'clock PDT: Dr. Oz. Once he gave the visual of what happens on the inside when we're becoming addicted, I vowed even stronger to stay away from prescribed meds. I realized after taking three acting classes simultaneously - classical theater, film/TV acting, & auditioning techniques where we covered the gamut - I can use these erratic emotions for performing & writing. With that said, I'm working on WAAAAY too many projects at once. but since can't be all completed at the same time, I'll always have something to work on.
...the wind blew...
By now, EVERYONE knows the blessing social networking can be...I make it known how much it's done for me...living happily 2166 miles from home (just wanted to be random again) I need facebook. Having connected w/so many old friends replenished the social butterfly in me. Reconnecting w/my Central State University family has unleashed the complete nut that I am. (There's a hint to a couple chapters in my autobiography.) Man, have I had my struggles...it's not easy to make new friends after 35 yrs of age. Having been sheltered most of my young life, mixing in being slow/naive...we could call my first few years out here "Clueless: The Adult Years." I was always told I could do anything I want, but I shouldn't want to do what I wanted to do..."Ruh?" Even the Mystery Gang gave up on trying to solve that one, but I'm a child of God and He who began a good work in me always assured me that He'd see me through to it. I would ask how, and He'd tell me throught the Holy Spirit to just trust Him...and while I didn't always, I was a child who was brought up in the way that I should go (by my Godparents,) so now I'm getting old I know not to depart from it. I've grown up, grown closer to God, and thus, closer to my goals. Look at me now! I'm going to have a Mary Tyler Moore moment on Hollywood Blvd. ...and hope my hat doesn't get stuck in a palm tree...or taken by a transient & used to collect change.
AND THE OSCAR FOR BEST ACTRESS GOES TO...(anxiety build, hyperventilation, heart palpations) JESSICA "ANGEL" CROLEY (SCREAMS, TEARS, THANK YOU, JESUS'S)...
Time to work on my speech & stuff.

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD, SING WITH ME...

I no longer ask why, I just thank God and wait, anymore...and I get to see!