I AM WORTHY, O' ME OF LITTLE FAITH

God's grace is sufficient, even when our faith wanes. Actually, it was just in a message how God's strength is made perfect in our weakness. Being humble is a beautiful and admirable trait, but I'm finding there's a fine or even a blurred line between humility and the feeling of unworthiness for some. I am one of that sum. I call myself humble but sometimes I undervalue myself and I'll excuse it as humility. I know better, so I'm doing better. Building my own business from the grass roots is making me feel and know my worth. 

I've always known what an asset I could be to someone else and their business. That quality should have always been applied to any and everything I do and have done for myself. I have learned some things about myself and I am owning them so that I can also discard them. 

I have commitment-phobia. I just had this light bulb turned on to the brightest setting while setting up my own business. I already knew it in the area of relationships, but I would never look myself in the mirror and admit it, nor would I say it aloud. Now, I'm admitting it to the whole world wide inter-web. Awkward. I have indirectly made choices to which I knew I couldn't commit long-term so that I'm not surprised, but relieved when things end. I also would never start a business for myself since my go at being a licensed manicurist and nail technician. How that worked out was enough to make me want to work for someone else and just get a regular check. That is even irregular, these days. I don't like to start anything I can't finish. (Control tendencies play out here, also.) I used to have trouble letting go when something didn't work because I wanted to make it work. Which brings me to my lack of faith. I obviously lack the faith that things will always work out how they are supposed. This is spelled out by some of my obvious (past) bad choices.

With prayer and meditation, I have come to the point at which I am now: fully committed to building my own business (even though it could allow me to hide from committing to a person if I'm not careful.) I'm also full of faith that this is going to work out just as I need it to do: it could grow into something huge, or it could just sustain me well enough to live and pursue another passion. All the work that I am putting into my own endeavor is showing me why I never wanted to go into business alone, yet I am. So now, that brings me to the biggest problem which is a horrible insult to our Creator: I NEED TO KNOW MY WORTH! I find myself setting low, affordable prices for my product and wanting to give the people I love the most free product or discounts when the fact of the matter is people I know can afford and do pay for what they really want if it's important to them. Once I started encountering the costs for shipping supplies and costs, and fees for processing orders and payments, I realize that I need to charge more because I'm already creating the highest quality product that I can. I'm a benevolent and charitable person so I have to extend some of that benevolence and charity to myself. Before I made a sale I was thinking about donations and if someone supports me to let me set up shop at their charitable event, I make sure to share the profits just as if I would have to pay rental fees for space to set up shop anywhere. I deserve to get what I deserve, I mustn't allow my humility to be my humiliation. I am valuing myself more, I am valuing my creativity and hard work, more. I'm in my own field of dreams, I'm building it, and I know they will come and pay full price. I hope you will, too.

Love, peace and blessings,

Jess an Angel

Just Honoring Commitments

Wow, I've not honored my commitment to do my between semester organizing, but hey, I'm not passionate about cleaning. Not that I haven't done any, I just can't seem to finish it all. However, I am passionate about (amongst other things) writing. I can have nothing to say but find plenty to write. Hmmmm, thus this blog. I resolved to start blogging regularly in 2010, and the old saying "why put off until tomorrow..." played in my head. Of course, it does that a lot but I only listen when it's something I want to do so I started posting already. Today I realized I hadn't posted yet and thought, I've got to keep at least this commitment, and here I am: Ta-freaking-da!
I've gone even further today - I even started following other people's blogs including the woman responsible for creating mine, and who shares with me a wealth of information to help me in my writing and entertainment career. We met on myspace, never in person, but I thank God for her, my friend, Sunida of Sunidaez Publishing.
I don't believe in asking for support without first giving it.
Happy New Year, everyone and may all your dreams become your prayers and be answered in God's time!