God's grace is sufficient, even when our faith wanes. Actually, it was just in a message how God's strength is made perfect in our weakness. Being humble is a beautiful and admirable trait, but I'm finding there's a fine or even a blurred line between humility and the feeling of unworthiness for some. I am one of that sum. I call myself humble but sometimes I undervalue myself and I'll excuse it as humility. I know better, so I'm doing better. Building my own business from the grass roots is making me feel and know my worth.
I've always known what an asset I could be to someone else and their business. That quality should have always been applied to any and everything I do and have done for myself. I have learned some things about myself and I am owning them so that I can also discard them.
I have commitment-phobia. I just had this light bulb turned on to the brightest setting while setting up my own business. I already knew it in the area of relationships, but I would never look myself in the mirror and admit it, nor would I say it aloud. Now, I'm admitting it to the whole world wide inter-web. Awkward. I have indirectly made choices to which I knew I couldn't commit long-term so that I'm not surprised, but relieved when things end. I also would never start a business for myself since my go at being a licensed manicurist and nail technician. How that worked out was enough to make me want to work for someone else and just get a regular check. That is even irregular, these days. I don't like to start anything I can't finish. (Control tendencies play out here, also.) I used to have trouble letting go when something didn't work because I wanted to make it work. Which brings me to my lack of faith. I obviously lack the faith that things will always work out how they are supposed. This is spelled out by some of my obvious (past) bad choices.
With prayer and meditation, I have come to the point at which I am now: fully committed to building my own business (even though it could allow me to hide from committing to a person if I'm not careful.) I'm also full of faith that this is going to work out just as I need it to do: it could grow into something huge, or it could just sustain me well enough to live and pursue another passion. All the work that I am putting into my own endeavor is showing me why I never wanted to go into business alone, yet I am. So now, that brings me to the biggest problem which is a horrible insult to our Creator: I NEED TO KNOW MY WORTH! I find myself setting low, affordable prices for my product and wanting to give the people I love the most free product or discounts when the fact of the matter is people I know can afford and do pay for what they really want if it's important to them. Once I started encountering the costs for shipping supplies and costs, and fees for processing orders and payments, I realize that I need to charge more because I'm already creating the highest quality product that I can. I'm a benevolent and charitable person so I have to extend some of that benevolence and charity to myself. Before I made a sale I was thinking about donations and if someone supports me to let me set up shop at their charitable event, I make sure to share the profits just as if I would have to pay rental fees for space to set up shop anywhere. I deserve to get what I deserve, I mustn't allow my humility to be my humiliation. I am valuing myself more, I am valuing my creativity and hard work, more. I'm in my own field of dreams, I'm building it, and I know they will come and pay full price. I hope you will, too.
Love, peace and blessings,
Jess an Angel
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